Yinglish

BAGELA n.         A gay Jewish baker.
BUBBEGUM n.     Candy given to children by their Jewish grandmothers.
CHUTZPAPA n.     A father who wakes his wife at 4 am so she can change the baby's diaper.
DEJA NU n.             Having the feeling you've seen the same exasperated look on your mother's                                  face but not knowing exactly when.
FLEISHADICK n.        A Jewish flasher.
GOYFER n.             A gentile messenger.
HEBRUTE n.             Israeli aftershave.
IMPASTA n.             A Jew who starts eating leavened foods before the end of Passover.
JEWBILATION n.     Pride in finding out that one's favorite celebrity is Jewish.
KINDERSCHLEP vb. To transport other kids in your car besides yours
MATZILATION n.         Smashing a piece of matzo to bits while trying to butter it.
MISHPOCHAMARKS n. The assorted lipstick and make-up stains found on one's face and collars                                          after kissing all one's aunts and cousins at a Bar Mitzvah.
RE-SHTETLEMENT n.      Moving from Brooklyn to Miami and finding all your old neighbors live in                                          the same condo as you.
ROSH HASHANANA n.        A rock 'n roll band from Brooklyn.
SANTASHMANTA n.         The explanation Jewish children get for when they celebrate Hannukah                                          while the rest of humanity celebrates Christmas.
SCHMUCKLUCK n.          Finding out one's wife became pregnant after one had a vasectomy.
SHOFARSOGUT n.         The relief you feel when after many attempts the shofar is finally blown at                                          the end of Yom Kippur.
TORAHFIED n.                   Inability to remember one's lines when called to read from the Torah at                                          one's Bar or Bat Mitzvah.
TRAYFFIC ACCIDENT n.       An appetizer one finds out has pork in it ofter one has eaten it.
YIDENTIFY vb.                      To be able to determine ethnic origins of celebrities even though their                                              names might be St. John, Curtis, Davis, or Taylor.

         Return to Title (Front) Page  or to select a different category of humor
          Click here  to read more jokes in this category